[Last modified: November, 20 2024 09:20 AM]
It is just before six in the morning and I am lying in my double bed with a slightly sloping king size mattress. My body has decided to wake up but I am still drowsy with sleep. Next to me is the warm cuddly body of my six-year-old who decided that this bed was much nicer than his bunkbed downstairs. It is comforting to feel his warmth and listen to his breathing.
Unable to go back to sleep and unwilling to get up, I do what so many of us do within minutes or even seconds of waking up – I reach for my phone.
My brain still feels foggy as I hold my phone to my face, letting my iPhone use its facial recognition to open my home screen. No messages have come in on WhatsApp since going to sleep just past midnight. Not feeling awake enough to engage with news articles or e-mails I tap my finger on the Instagram app and start scrolling, keeping the volume very low.
Faces of friends, family members and people from my local community come by mixed in with faces of people I have never met in person but are nonetheless familiar to me as I have followed their account for a while.
Recognizing people I like elicits a smile and my scrolling slows. When seeing accounts I associate with more critical or negative content I scroll by faster, not wanting to engage right now. I roll my eyes at paid for content plugging “Early Black Friday Access” quickly moving on and instead pause on the NationalTrustSouthWest account showing me snowy scenes of a peaceful landscape. I watch a video of someone making bread and scoring the dough before baking to create a beautiful pattern. I feel my body staying in this relaxed state, curiosity peeked but calm. I am lying on my left side, turned away from my son to block the light of my phone from disturbing his sleep. My legs curled up, my movements minimal, just little flicks performed with my right index finger while my left hand holds the phone.
For about twenty minutes I suspend the “proper” start of my day until I feel movement beside me, a little body stretching out and hearing the words “Mummy, I’m hungry…”. I put my phone away under my pillow, turn around and luckily first get a cuddle. A few more moments of calm and warmth before I am reminded that someone’s tummy is rumbling. A quick stretch transitions my body from a feeling of languid rest to active tension as I get up and start the breakfast shift.