[Last modified: November, 20 2024 11:06 AM]
8am on the overground from Peckham Rye: everyone’s going to work. The weather was cold outside so I’m overdressed for the heat of the bodies around me, sweating under my clothes whilst stretching my arms out unnaturally over the man on the iPad next to me so I can hold onto the bar. My arm is taut and my grip tight. It feels uncomfortable to stand so close to him, yet my arm can’t stretch further, and even though my feet are firmly planted hips’ width apart for balance, I still don’t trust my body not to fall on the baby in front of me when the train jolts. I’m standing directly in front of the door to the first class carriage, and people push the door into my back to alert me of their getting off, indicating that it’s my moment to curl my body inwards towards a woman on my other side, bringing my morning breath a little too close to hers. The baby begins to grab onto my leg from her buggy with an untrained hand, and whilst her parents laugh, I try to somehow curve my thighs backwards.
I realise with embarrassment after about fifteen minutes that if I move my feet slightly to the side, I can lean on the carriage wall by the door to first class. I move my arm from the man’s face, and try to relax backwards out of my self-imposed strained discomfort. I get off at Farringdon – along with the baby and the man – and feel the comfort of moving through the platform quickly and with ease. I check the time and realise I need to run for the next train.
The beeping of the doors spur on my sense of urgency as I take a leap onto the tube going towards Euston Square. The carriage is much emptier than the previous one, although there are still no seats. I grab the closest pole next to a woman also holding it, and then realise that there’s more space down the carriage. I’m uncomfortable in a different way this time. Do I face outwards, towards the other people on the train, or toward the door, towards my reflection in the dark? I twist my body round, trying the two. Once facing the doors, I look over my shoulder and realise everyone else is facing inwards. I turn back around.